Archive for July, 2008

When you build your courage muscle, your confidence will soar, which will absolutely crush binge eating disorder.  It’s not rocket science:  We wouldn’t have binge eating disorder if we were confidence, happy, and courageous.  Binge eating disorder takes all of those important qualities away, thus leaving us only with bingeing in our lives… 

But it doesn’t have to always be that way.

Start doing things that will challenge you and start to build your courage muscle.  Make a decision that you are going to beat binge eating disorder and decide to start tomorrow building a better you.  

How can you build your courage muscle, you ask?  

Well, for one, do something tomorrow that pushes you a little out of your comfort zone.  Something that arises a little fear within you, but that is completely doable.  (If you are terrified of heights and really won’t bungee jump, obviously, don’t pick that.)  Do an activity that you wouldn’t normally do because of binge eating disorder.  Take a new class that binge eating disorder has stopped you from pursuing.  

You just want to light a spark within you that shows you that you don’t have to settle and accept that you are going to always suffer from binge eating disorder.  When you prove to yourself that you are fully capable of achieving a smaller goal, you will start to want to make it bigger and better.  You will start to push yourself to the limits and see what you are really capable of.  Binge eating disorder will start to fall back and not be as consuming as it once was…  and this is good!

Once you start to feel more courageous, you will notice that you will also feel more confident.  When you feel more confident you will not want to settle for a life that is full of binge eating disorder!

I’ve made a list of a few behaviors that can really provoke binge eating disorder.  It’s not the “magic” pill to take and have binge eating disorder disappear, but I think that if you can change some of your behaviors towards food, you will notice a change in your eating disorder.

Here are 6 behaviors that can lead to a binge session for you:

1.  Crazy dieting.
So often we think that we have to take the most drastic measures to not only get binge eating disorder under control, but to also lose weight.  We starve ourselves and do other crazy things with the hope of shedding a few pounds.  Instead we are so hungry that we end up giving this method of dieting up and start to raid the pantry and end the day with a full-out binge.

2.  Eating proper food combinations.
There is no proof that eating carbs with protein is better than eating just protein alone.  So many people buy into this because we want to be able to get binge eating disorder under control and we want it to be easy.  The whole diet industry has confused us all and we don’t know what to do for the maximum weight loss so we are apt to try anything.

3.  Carbs are the enemy.
This is one of my favorites.  Yes, I tried the Atkins diet years ago and I did lose weight.  I was successful for a while, but I had the worst headaches and lowest energy level that you can imagine.  Any kind of a diet can work, but what you have to ask yourself is if you can keep up with something like that.  For me, I wanted potatoes, not boiled cauliflower that looked like mashed potatoes.  It just didn’t cut it for me.  And of course I would end up bingeing non-stop for a few days after depriving myself of carbs.  So, carbs are not the enemy - They are just like everything else and should be eaten in moderation.  That’s all.

4.  Fat-free items are the best.
Who has actually eaten a whole bag of fat-free or low-fat chips just because they have less or no fat in them?  I’m soo guilty of this too.  It’s like you are given total access to binge because hey, it’s low-fat.  Not the case.  It’s good to watch your fat, but your body also needs fat too.  Buying into the whole fat-free-so-I’m-safe thing just doesn’t work and will most likely lead you to open the pantry and see what other food you can binge on.

5.  Grocery shopping without a list.
When I go to the grocery store (even now) I always bring a list.  I know that without a list I will deviate and stroll down the chip aisle and pick up some junk.  I just know it… especially if I’m hungry.  How many of you bring lists with you?  It really helps to keep you in check without buying a bunch of stuff that you don’t need, that isn’t healthy, and that will help you binge eat on later.

6.  Buying in bulk.
I know it might be cheaper to buy in bulk, especially right now in the economy when money is tight… but it doesn’t help binge eating disorder.  Having tons of food just gives you the go-ahead to binge, binge, and binge some more because it’s right there.  If you can refrain from buying in bulk, I recommend buying little pre-portioned snacks to get you through the day.  If you need to buy in bulk, fill a little bag with the right size portion of the snack.  Hopefully this will help you stop a binge. 

Binge Eating Disorder:  Best friend or worst enemy?

Most of the time it plays the role of both.  When you have had a rough day at school or work, binge eating can sound like just the thing you need to calm you down and relax you.  You might go to the convenient store, pick up some chips, cookies, dip, candy, or anything that you prefer to binge on, binge and consume it all within a matter of minutes, and then you feel bad.  Guilty.  Question why you did that…  

We all know that binge eating does not make our problems go away.  In fact, it makes our problems seem a lot larger than they really are.  We start to wonder why we aren’t “normal” and why we can’t eat healthy and stop.  We wonder how in the world these “normal” people get through a rough day without binge eating until they are sick.  Then our problems do get bigger because now we feel so down on ourselves and we’ve just added to the problem.

Binge eating disorder takes over your whole life and makes you focus on when you get to binge next.  Suddenly you don’t worry about seeing your parents (or insert another person here) as much as you used to.  It doesn’t really bother you that you’ve just told your friend that you don’t feel like meeting up with her for the 4th time.  You just don’t really care about anything anymore, except binge eating disorder.  

However, the fact that you are reading my blog is a step in the right direction.  I mean, at least you know that you have a semi-unhealthy relationship with food and you are searching the Internet for help.  That’s a good step!  

I completely believe and live by the mantra:  When there’s a will, there’s a way.  

I was once in the exact same place you are in right now.  I was binge eating like it was going out of style and part of me wanted to stop, but there was a part that wasn’t sure I could or if I was really ready to stop binge eating.  Yes, it’s true.  I felt like binge eating disorder was just who I was.  It definitely defined me and it scared the crap out of me to think about it not being in my life…  You mean, I would actually have to do something else other than binge when things got too complicated, too overwhelming, too rough?  

But there was a slightly (and I stress slightly) bigger part of me that did want to get better.  That did want to eventually lose the weight I had gained.  Most importantly, I completely wanted to feel “normal” in my day-to-day life, which also meant in my eating habits.

So there was a will…  The way that I got to where I am now is because I never gave up.  And believe me, there were some hard times when I knew that it would be SO much easier to buy binge food and eat it all.  And, sometimes I gave in… but more often than not, I refrained.  And I was proud of myself.  I never put crazy limits on myself and never let others put limits on me either.  I tried to live every day for that day, without focusing on the next week, month, or year.  

You know what?  I became successful at doing living one day at a time.  My binges also became less frequent.  I started to respect my body in a way that I had never done.  My self-esteem improved drastically (really, it went from one extreme to another).  All in all, I just felt good about the direction my life (read: binge eating) was headed - I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was heading for a good place where I would be at peace with myself and forgive myself for the past binge eating happenings.  

Now, it’s July 2008 and I haven’t binged in over 3 years… and I think that’s pretty darn marvelous!  I beat binge eating disorder AND you can do the same.  When there’s a will, you will always find a way!

Since October 2006, I have personally responded to over 1,000 emails from people like you who have asked a lot of great questions. 

Many were the same questions I had asked myself when I first learned of Binge Eating Disorder.  Others were questions I had asked myself when I was learning to overcome Binge Eating Disorder.  And there were many, many other questions that came in that didn’t even come to me.

So many questions… so many answers.

Recently, I spent countless hours going through each and every email that I’ve ever replied to over the last 3 and 1/2 years and broke everything down into 8 categories:

1. Binge Eating Disorder
2. Body Image
3. Food
4. Exercise
5. Health
6. Motivation
7. Websites
8. Weight Loss

To learn more, go to: http://www.endbingeeating.com/report.html

As you can imagine, this was a TON of work, but it has been well worth it because of the great feedback I’ve recieved from many of you.  The Binge Eating Disorder Q&A Special Report is over 80 pages long and covers nearly each and every single question you’ve asked or will ask yourself as you take your journey to becoming binge-free.

Also, for those of you who have read my ebook, “End Binge Eating”, you know that I never fully go into all of the details as to why I started binge eating.  Well, I did share my story with many of you via email… and because so many of you thought it was so helpful and could relate, I disclose everything for the first time in 3 and 1/2 years in the Binge Eating Q&A Special Report.

Here’s just one of many emails I’ve received from people like you, after she read my report:

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“Kristin,

I am 50 years old and have been a binge eater since about the third grade.  I must tell you that I am so ready to STOP bingeing.  I am 50 years old!  Enough already!  Although I’ve never been more than 20 pounds overweight, bingeing has still caused huge problems for me.  I’ve struggled with digestion problems, isolation, grouchy negative behavior, and have been stuck for years with this ineffective way of coping with stress and soothing myself when upset, bored, tired, angry, whatever.  I am coming to a new time in my life where my daughters are in college and my nest will soon be empty.  I am trying to “figure myself out” and dealing with my binge eating is long overdue.
 
I have only been able to put a name to my disorder in the last few months and I appreciate your website and products.  I admit that I researched binge eating disorder and came back to your website many times before actually purchasing your e-book.  As I read in your Q and A what caused you to start bingeing, I saw myself in your story.

I also binged because of becoming aware of boys and feeling uncomfortable in my skin.  You talked about the thrill you felt as you raided the kitchen–I hadn’t thought of it in that way, but now I realize that my reaction at the time was the same.  I somehow felt powerful to be in control when my parents were out of the house.
 
Your e-book has resonated with me in so many ways.  The journaling, affirmations, personal growth, and exercise recommendations are right on.  I think the biggest thing that I have gotten out of all your material is that I have to change my way of thinking.  To do that, I recite affirmations daily.  The best are the ones you recently sent out with your newsletter.  They are written from the point of view that I am ALREADY healthy.  Honestly, if I can change my thinking, I know that I can beat this thing.  Thank you for all you are doing to help.”
– Sue, CA
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To learn more, go to: http://www.endbingeeating.com/report.html

I realize that I’m very late in this post about Sex and The City Movie, and even though it doesn’t have anything to do with binge eating disorder, it has to do with comfort food, so to speak.

Of course, this might be a spoiler for anyone that hasn’t seen the movie yet, but honestly, if you were a fan you probably would have already seen it anyways.  

Remember when Samantha is having doubts about her relationship with Smith and she’s thinking about her neighbor…  Well, she decides to remain loyal to her boyfriend and so she eats and eats and eats.  When she goes to Carrie’s apartment, all of the girls are shocked at her new gut and the new weight she has gained.  She explains why she gained the pounds and eats cake.  

Now, I honestly didn’t think that she looked as bad as her friends thought.  I noticed her stomach protruding some, but something must be wrong with me because I didn’t pick up on it at all…  

I just want to know your thoughts on this…  do you think that the story line was justified?  Do you think that if they were going to make a big deal about Samantha gaining weight it should have at least been a decent amount of extra weight?  Do you think it’s a slap in the face to all the “average” woman out there that are a size 10-12?  Or, do you just think that it was a story line in a great movie and that’s that?

My thoughts:  Like I said, I didn’t notice where they were going with it until the girls started to pick on Samantha.  I felt bad for her (for obvious reasons), but I thought it was a bit stupid.  I also think that our society does not need more of this kind of focus in our lives…  I don’t believe there is any reason to make someone feel bad about themselves… I just don’t.  

It brings me back to when I was bingeing a lot and I had gained a lot of weight (way more than Samantha).  Not too many people would comment on the extra poundage, but I could count on my mom and grandmother to do so.  Every single time I saw them.  Of course it was really annoying, even to the point when I didn’t want to go and visit them anymore.  

But perhaps the most frustrating part about the whole situation was the fact that I was fully aware that I had gained weight.  I mean really, how could I not be?  None of my clothes really fit me in that way that they are supposed to fit.  I had to keep buying larger sizes to be able to have clothes to fit me…  It was quite obvious that I knew I had gained weight.  Plus, how could I not think about what bingeing on all food was doing to me?  I might have been overweight, but I wasn’t stupid…  So I’d appreciate if you didn’t treat me like I was stupid.  Or blind.

So, back to SATC and Samantha gaining weight…  Perhaps Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte were only doing what they thought would be best, like my mom and grandmother did with me.  I don’t know.  I just think that it’s sort of a shame to focus on something like that in the movie where a bunch of girls are present… but those are just my thoughts.  

What are yours?

Good news:  I’ve decided to launch a brand-new binge eating disorder eCourse!

I’m really excited about it and it’s filling up fast…  So I’ve created somewhat of an outline so that you can decide if this is something for you.  Yesterday we sent out the email with the announcement and we started out with 20 spots.  It makes me so happy that so many of those spots are now taken and I can’t wait to start the lessons.

You can take a look at the site for all of the details:  http://www.endbingeeating.com/ecourse.html

I’ve come up with a tentative outline so that you can know what to expect:

Week 1:  Managing Your Life  
Learning to say no,
Realizing your self-worth,
Accepting yourself,
Managing stress,
What works and doesn’t work, and
Figuring out patterns of bingeing, along with your various thought patterns.

Week 2:  Self-Esteem
Healing the past for your low self-esteem,
Inventory of all areas of your life:  Binge Eating/Health, Money, Relationships/Friendships, Family, Hobbies/Fun, Spiritual).

Week 3:  Changing Your Thinking
Two Fears and how they hold us back,
Self-Limiting beliefs and how to unlock your potential and accomplish what you thought was not possible,
How you see and feel about yourself, and
Being aware of self-talk and getting rid of what is not true.

Week 4:  Changing Your Life
Four causes of negative thinking and how to stop,
Learning to take control over your thoughts and actions,
Seven steps to change your future and end binge eating disorder,
Mental roadblocks that hold us back,
The one thing you have control over and what you need to implement to start changing your life.

Each week will also have exercises and things for you to think about and change.  In addition to the lessons, I also have some tips that I will be sending out periodically to you.

If this sounds like something you are interested in, you can enroll at: http://www.endbingeeating.com/ecourse.html

If you enroll, I truly look forward to working with you!!
 

I’m constantly amazed by probably the most basic thing…  People who feel such a good and strong comfort in knowing that they are not alone with having binge eating disorder… and I don’t mean that to sound superior in any means.

It’s true though.  I’m nothing short of amazed, simply because it’s been many years since I’ve binged and felt comfort in knowing that very same thing.  Now, since years have passed, it’s still the number one truth that people yearn to know.

Why is that?

I think, with everything, we all want to belong to something.  Whether it’s a club, membership, secret handshake, or just a group of really good friends, we need to know that we belong.  It’s comforting and makes us feel good.  It lets us know that there is a place for us with other similar people. 

Total sidenote, but my husband was just telling me about this travel club he heard about.  Some random guy (not a travel agent) charges people about $100,000 a year for membership to this club.  And they travel.  That’s it.  Why do people pay this much when they could organize a group of friends to go on the same vacation?  Because they want to belong to something.  Most likely things will come up with their friends if they tried to plan a trip.  This has happened to me so many times, so I know from experience that it is very difficult to get a commitment from a group to go on vacation.

In all of this rambling, I’m not saying that we pick binge eating disorder as the “club” to belong to.  We are all smarter than that.  But we do need to know that we are not alone in our struggles.  We need to know that other people are going through the exact same thing that we are.  We need to hear that people go out to lunch, eat healthy, and then come home binge and feel sick.  It helps us.  It lets us know those magic words…  We are not alone.  

Even though it’s not the ideal thing to belong to, it also gives us hope.  

For example, I used to be right where you are at.  I used to binge up to a few times a day, many times a week.  I know.  Believe me, I know and understand how awful it is.  Hopefully, just hopefully, seeing that I’ve been there and belonged to the same club you are in right now can give you the hope to keep going forward in beating binge eating disorder.  

Belonging to the club of a healthy relationship with food is a lot more rewarding than you can ever imagine…  and I hope that I can do all that I can to help you get your membership into that club and sense of belonging because that is what we all deserve.

Wow.  I just read a past journal entry about something totally embarrassing from when I was binge eating.  It’s even embarrassing to tell you about right now.

Picture it:  1999.  I’m 19 years old.  I’m overdrawn severely in my bank account.  I mean, it’s bad.  And it’s all because of binge eating disorder.  Seriously.

You gotta love all the $35 charges for being overdrawn, right?  Well, how about being overdrawn and having the $35 fee added to your negative balance, um, 5 times.  5 times… that’s $175 that I didn’t have for bills, gas, binge eating.  

$175 overdrawn and what was my first thought?  How was I going to buy junk food to binge on?  

Looking back on it now I wonder why I wasn’t considered for the more important things, like how was I going to get to school if I had no gas and no money to buy any gas?  But no, I worried about buying even more food to binge on.  Crazy, right?!

To make matters even worse, I called my bank and begged them to reverse all or at least some of the charges.  The bank customer service woman gave me a play-by-play on my purchases that made me overdrawn.

OK, fine.

Taco Bell $4.34
Popeyes $1.94
Exxon $3.24

Wow.  

While this was incredibly embarrassing to hear, it was even more astonishing to learn about the most expensive fast food meals that I’ve ever had.  That bean burrito, nachos, Dr. Pepper ended up costing me $39.34.  Wow.

(She said she was able to take off one charge.  I guess one $35 refund was better than nothing.)

I can say that this was probably one of my most embarrassing binge eating moments, especially when the customer service representative repeated my purchases back to me.  

It was like she knew my secret and was giving me a big “F you”…  I’m just sayin’

There are many consequences about binge eating disorder, but one that I noticed about myself was how my relationships started to dwindle down.  I was always a very social girl with tons of friends.  I always had plans to do fun thing with my friends and I even enjoyed hanging out with my parents, believe it or not.  

In high school I was still very social, even though binge eating disorder was very much in my life.  I still hung out with my friends, went on dates, and no one knew about binge eating disorder.  Heck, I don’t even think I realized that anything was really wrong with me at that time.

In college, watch out!  

I was in a whole new environment and only knew 2 people that went to that college with me…  one of my best friends and my boyfriend at the time.  I found myself refraining from meeting new people and experiencing new things.  It really terrified me and brought out triggers to make me want to binge even more!

My relationships were pretty much non-existent.  I never went out.  I didn’t have the fun first year at college experience…  It was completely the opposite.  I would stay inside my dorm room and binge.  All because of binge eating disorder.  

When I found out about binge eating disorder, I was comforted in knowing that there was something that I was experiencing that had a name and wasn’t just from my imagination.

There are tons of consequences you experience and learn about binge eating disorder, and relationships (or lack of) was at the top of my list.  I knew that I wanted to be the social butterfly that I used to be and once I learned more about binge eating disorder, I knew that I would find my way back to the person I once was… without binge eating disorder.

When you think about how to stop binge eating, your mind can get very overwhelmed on what to do first.  Here are four thing you can add to your life now to help you stop binge eating.

1.  Stop any negative self-talk.  If you find yourself thinking negatively, counter that thought with a positive one.  Do not beat yourself up anymore, instead praise yourself and try to make you feel good about yourself.  If you can’t make yourself feel good, who can?

2.  Get rid of all binge foods in your house.  It’s much harder to eat food that isn’t there.  This might be hard for you to do, but it’s well worth it.  Think of how much harder it would actually be for you to have to go to the store each time you wanted to binge.  The more out of reach the food is, the better!

3.  Journal.  Here’s the catch though:  Buy the journal AND actually use it by writing in it!  In your journal, write about your feelings throughout the day.  Also write about any temptation to binge and how you were feeling at that point in time.  Write what you did about the binge: was it too strong for you to overcome or were you able to beat it?  If you were able to beat it, what tactic did you use to help?

4.  Take up a new hobby and do it when you feel the urge to binge.  Scrapbooking, taking a dance class, knitting, walking, going to the gym, and playing an instrument are all very good things to do to get your mind off of bingeing.  Even getting on the computer and coming to this site for additional support and help is a good idea.  Post in the forum and get ready for motivation and support!

I know that these 4 tips seem extremely simple… and they are.  The hardest obstacle when trying to stop binge eating is actually doing these things in place of binge eating.  It will get hard, but try one (or all!) of these tips the next time you want to binge.  Keep building upon it and you will start seeing successes!!  

Remember that when you marry your intention with action, miracles happen!

PS - This has nothing to do with how to stop binge eating, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to the George Michael concert tonight with my mom.  I haven’t been too excited about it, but I think we’ll have a blast!  I’ll be sure to update you tomorrow - Everything I’ve read so far says that his concert is awesome!