Archive for June, 2007

In just over a week and a half, it will be July 7, 2007, which means the biggest and most popular wedding date!  Many people believe that it is lucky to get hitched on 07/07/07 - I’m all for a blessed and long marriage, but I have to wonder how many brides will do the latest fad diet to lose a few unwanted pounds prior to the ceremony? 

I wonder how many brides-to-be will end up bingeing as a result of doing a crazy diet…

I wonder how many of them will actually lose any weight…

And, I wonder why getting married invokes feelings of losing pounds.

Although I have not been married before, I have felt similar feeings of “oh my gosh, I have to lose 10lbs RIGHT away”.  Whether it was preparing for a family function, a reunion, or just a vacation - I always wanted to lose weight and really believed that I could before the day happened. 

I would drive myself crazy about dieting and calculating how many calories I would allow myself to eat and how many calories were possible to burn at the gym.  I tried SO many different diets over time, but I always found myself disappointed in the result.

What… Did I not want it bad enough??

Instead of losing a handful (or two) of pounds, most of the time I gained more than I originally weighed. 

I hated how I felt when I was in the “diet mode”.  I hated feeling restricted to certain types of foods only.  I hated seeing others enjoy foods that I wasn’t allowed to have. 

All of these feelings caused me to binge eat. 

Yes, just the mere thought of cookies, chips, bagels (bread for that matter), doughnuts, etc would send me into a rampage to find whatever I could and just eat.

And eat.

And eat.

Sure, binge eating made me feel good for the initial moment.  It allowed me to throw the diet right out the window. 

But all I was doing was trading one bad behavior/mentality for another.  It was so drastic - either binge or starve.

Since then I have learned that no upcoming event will put pressure on me to lose weight.  I can’t let myself get consumed with silly things like that. 

Instead, I find myself prepared for anything that may come up.  I eat healthy, do not binge anymore, and I exercise very regularly.  All in moderation

Just put the invite in my hand and count me in… looking the same way that I do right now!

Yesterday I was reading the Houston paper and a headline of “Side Effects Not Slowing Alli Diet-Pill Boom” caught my attention.  Naturally I just had to read through this article to read about the side effects of the first ever FDA-approved nonprescription diet pill. 

In my former life, when I was binge eating, I would have been first in line to try the Alli product.  I know that I would have thought that it was the answer to stop binge eating AND to losing weight…  Oh, I am so glad that I have different thoughts now.

As I read the article in the paper, I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the nasty side effects of this pill.  (I promise that I’m not insensitive to people wanting to lose weight.)  In addition to taking the pill, you are supposed to eat a low-fat diet that does not go over 45 grams of fat per day.  Well, from my own experience with different forms of dieting, I know that I would have surpassed the recommended 45 grams of fat per day.  I would have thought that this new pill was my excuse for eating a lot of fat. 

Apparently, I am not the only one that shares this belief.  Many people that have tried the Alli pill noticed some leaky stools and other not-so-pleasant things.

According to the manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline, the potential for “gas with oily spotting, loose stools, or more frequent stools that may be hard to control” can be a result of eating more than 15 fat grams.

There is even an “accident support group” on the Alli website where people share their bowel movement stories and leaks with one another. 

I’m not so sure that I would be able to stick to something with these embarrassing side effects, could you?

Personally, I love the scale.  It’s my friend and I believe that weighing myself is extremely healthy for me.  I’ve read that many people don’t weigh themselves at all…  I guess I would fall into that category if I become obsessive about weighing myself, but I actually think that stepping on the scale helps me out.

Up until 2 years ago, I never weighed myself.  I didn’t even have a scale and refused to look when weighed at the doctor’s office.  I chose to believe that as long as I didn’t know the number, I was OK and definitely not in the overweight category.  I mean, it was obvious to me that I had gained weight - Besides some family members commented on my weight, I was binge eating all of the time (it had gotten really bad), all of my clothes were getting too snug, and I just didn’t feel good.  I had no energy, never wanted to hang out with anyone, and constantly thought about the next time I’d be able to binge.  But, for some reason, not knowing the number on the scale made me feel better.

When I recovered from binge eating disorder, I knew that I had to change some things in my life so that I could help myself.  I remember deciding that I wanted to buy a scale.  I felt good about this purchase… after all, this was going to help my “new” life soar. 

When I actually mustered up the courage to step onto the scale, I don’t know if I could have ever prepared myself for that feeling.  It wasn’t good.  I wanted to cry and binge… 

The number was close to 200lbs.  How in the hell did I let myself gain so much weight???

What I found by weighing myself on a weekly basis was that it kept me accountable in a way.  I can’t explain it, but I felt better.  When I started to lose weight, I couldn’t wait to get on the scale. 

The same holds true now…  I’ve lost over 50lbs, and I start everyday with stepping on the scale (after going to the bathrm, of course).  Of course, my weight fluctuates daily by a little more and a little less, but I find joy in that.  I don’t obsess over the number, but instead just use it as a motivator. 

I must say that I’m not sure I was in the right mindset to handle what the scale said while I was binge eating.  I think that it would have made me just want to binge more because my body image was extremely negative.  Once I got to a ”good” place within myself and had a positive body image, the scale provided help to me.

So, the scale is definitely my friend…  What about you?

About a month ago, I did a blog search on “binge eating”.  One of the first things that popped up was a video called “Binge Eating for Sanjaya”.  I paid no attention to it and kept on with my search.  (Although I must admit, I did wonder if this American Idol wannabe had a problem with binge eating.) 

Fast forward to last night.  Again I was searching for the term “binge eating” and the above mentioned topic grabbed my attention again.  I decided to click on it and see what it was all about.  I couldn’t get through even 15 seconds of this video.  Not only was it disgusting - I don’t particularly enjoy watching people cram chips into their mouth while talking (ew!), but it was highly offensive to me being a former binge eater. 

I pressed the stop button as fast as I could and began to wonder what kind of person would actually choose binge eating as their way of getting a point across?  What is wrong with this picture?  Binge eating is serious and this video made me sick.

I think I got the jist of the whole thing without watching it all - Some guy who desparately wants to be famous and seems will stoop down to many levels to do so, decided that he would binge eat until his favorite singer on American Idol won. 

Now, call me crazy (or maybe I don’t have a good sense of humor), but this is just stupid.  I just wonder if he knows that binge eating isn’t a joke.  There are tons of people who struggle daily with binge eating, and here’s a guy who’s poking fun at it so that someone can win on a reality show.  I just don’t get it…  Binge eating???

It’s like him shaving his head and pretending that he was a cancer victim (OK, maybe not that extreme)…

Or strapping himself in a straitjacket…

Why would a person inflict such an unhealthy way of living onto themselves… all for fun nonetheless?

Wasn’t there something besides binge eating that he could have done to get his point across? 

I’m curious as to what you think about this…  Can you appreciate it for what it’s worth, or do you think that there is seriously something so wrong and upsetting (like I do) about this?

You know this voice…

It’s the voice inside your head telling you that you aren’t strong enough to stop binge eating.

It’s the voice that wants you to fail instead of succeeding with ending all struggles from binge eating disorder.

It’s the voice that you so desperately want to go away.

It’s the voice of defeat… and it seems like it’s constantly in your head.

I remember hearing this “voice” a lot when I was binge eating.  It seems like my day could get off to a good start.  I ate a good breakfast and lunch, but on my way home I would gravitate to Taco Bell.  Deep inside I didn’t want to eat Taco Bell.  I wanted to go home and stick to my planned dinner…  But no, the voice felt much stronger.  It woldn’t go away and I felt completely hopeless next to it.  How was I going to end binge eating disorder with these thoughts?

I remember asking my therapist when this would go away and when I would feel stronger over the thoughts in my head.  She said “in time”.  Those words weren’t exactly good enough for me…  How would I know that the thoughts of binge eating would go away?  What does “in time” even mean?  I tried to not think so much about this and I took binge eating one day at a time.  After about 6 months I remember getting through the whole day and it being successful.  No bad thoughts in my head that were directed to binge eating.  It seemed that I had won that day and it felt good.  I felt like I beat the binge eating monster for that day.

Now I get questions from people asking when they will be able to beat the binge eating thoughts in their own heads…  I tell them “in time”.  While it’s impossible to give a timeframe, I provide them comfort in these words by sharing my story.  I did it and they can too…  just in time.

Don’t rush what will inevitably happen in your life.  Focus on each day and think about how you can make that day worthwhile without binge eating.  Direct your attention to beating the binge eating thoughts for that day.  In time, you will see that you are stronger and stronger.  Pretty soon you will realize that it’s not such a constant effort to get the bad binge eating thoughts to go away.  It will get easier and you will overcome the voices/thoughts of binge eating disorder.  Just give yourself time.

Think about your life for a moment.  When things are going as you wish, life is good.  You are able to focus on overcoming binge eating disorder and what you need to change in your life so that you don’t binge anymore.  You have a clear outlook and all things look bright. 

But, when things do not go as expected, or you are thrown a curve ball, life is anything but good.  Not only do you lose focus on achieving your goal of overcoming binge eating disorder, but your whole demeanor and outlook on life starts to shift from positive to negative and doubt sets in.  Doubt that maybe binge eating disorder is just too hard to overcome.  Doubt that you are not strong enough to not binge eat.  Doubt that overcoming binge eating is just too hard.

When you become a victim to your circumstance, your goals and all motivation to achieve them go right out the window.  You lose sight of wanting to stop binge eating and you start bingeing even more to make up for the tough times.  Even though life gets hard, it’s in those tough times that you should keep your goals most fresh in your mind and strive to work at them.  Never lose focus of what you really want.  Never give up on ending binge eating.

Everyone needs focus.  Your focus is what will help you avoid binge eating in tough situations.  It’s your focus that will keep you motivated to stay on track with ending binge eating, instead of succumbing to your life or your situation.  When you are focused, there is nothing that can stand in your way because you have sight of the bigger picture and will always continue to work towards that.  Your goal of overcoming binge eating disorder will constantly be fresh on your mind. 

“How can a culture that exists on fast food, celebrity gossip, credit, and separation teach enlightment to its young?”
- Unknown

I had a great talk with a new friend this morning while at a local coffee house.  We talked about fast food, humanitarian issues, children, my binge eating stuff, relationships, and just life in general.  It was a great talk and I must admit that it opened up my eyes about problems around the world.

So many people choose to be oblivious to the very many important issues in life, whether it’s a bad relationship, an eating disorder, global warming, what people put into their bodies, other communities that desparately need help, and so much more.

I am extremely passionate about making a difference in this world.  Right now I am doing my part to educate people about binge eating disorder and how to overcome this eating disorder and also to educate as many people as I can about animal cruelty.  This is just a start though.  I have much bigger plans that involve trying to make this world a better place.

I challenge you to think about what you are doing to help out in areas that you care about.  I also challenge you to question what you are choosing to be oblivious to.  After all, it’s a whole lot easier to just pretend that these very big issues don’t exist… but what kind of person does that make you?

Perhaps the issues outside of the United States are not solely our responsiblity…  that being said though, if you could help save a few lives, why would you chose not to?  Why wouldn’t a successful person chose to spread a little karma for what they’ve been blessed for so far?  Why are we so selfish?

Another disturbing thing to me is that fact that no matter how we choose to educate others about fast food, people still eat it.  Yes, it’s their own choice, but c’mon.  Have you seen Supersize Me?  It’s absolutely disgusting and frightening on so many levels, yet drive by any McDonald’s at any given time of the day and you will see the drive thru packed.  WHY?  Are we so lazy that we pretend that McDonald’s is real food and a decent meal?  In one ear and out the other, right?

So maybe people are not as passionate towards animals as I am.  I know that we all have our own things that are closer to our heart than others, but how can you stand eating a piece of meat while knowing how that animal was tortured?  What about all of the animals that are abused?  Surely anyone with a heart can feel sympathy for that.  What are you doing to help?  Are you donating even $10 to help out and try to save an animal’s life or are you just pretending that it doesn’t exist? 

I learned today that 1 out of every 6 people in the world dies because of lack of clean water.  Clean water… something that we all take for granted.  I learned that it is the number two killer of people.  I also learned that $3,000 will buy a well so that people can have clean water.  Maybe you aren’t able to donate $3,000 right off the bat, but if everyone donated what they could, there would be a lot more wells to provide kids and adults with the proper water that is so readily available to us.

What are we teaching the future generations of the world?  Why are people like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan our children’s role models?  Do we really want our kids to be like them, or do we want them to be more like Angelina Jolie, Oprah, and Dr. Catherine Hamlin (http://www.fistulafoundation.org/index.html) - These are just some people that are doing what they can to help out.  You make the decision.

Please, please, please think about what you are passionate about and how you can make a difference in the world.  We need more good people to help out and continue fighting for a better world.  Think about what you can make yourself more aware of and what you can do to help out and spread the word to others.   Vow to stop pretending that these very important issues don’t exist - they do and it’s only going to get worse if we choose to do nothing about it.

In becoming the person that you desire, you must visualize what it is that you want.  You must see it, feel it, taste it, and believe wholeheartedly in it.  How will you feel once binge eating disorder isn’t in your life?

Think of your brain as a place where you are able to build whatever you want in it.  In this place you take your proposal for your new reality and begin building towards that.  What will your new reality be like when you have overcome binge eating?  How will you act around food?  How will you deal with loneliness or stress (or whatever other emotion) instead of bingeing?  Think of how much more you will love yourself when you don’t binge.  Think about how your self-esteem will skyrocket because binge eating disorder is a thing of the past!

In your mind, your deepest dreams can become your reality, only if you see things as you would have them be instead of how they actually are at the moment.  In this present moment, the binge eating aspect of your life is not be where you would like it to be.  It is only when you picture yourself as having already overcome binge eating that you can turn the possibility into your reality and no longer binge eat. 

Every thought of improving what you see begins with your imagination.  This is the tool that allows you to dream about what you want.  This is what allows you to change your possibility into a reality.  This is what will help you beat binge eating disorder.  This is the starting point for the new you! 

After you have your dream and make a plan, then you can start turning your thoughts into reality by taking positive action towards establishing a healthy relationship with food, one where binge eating is not allowed.

Desires and dreams are infinite.  What you want to change in your life can go wherever you want it to go.  There is no limit.  Begin to dream and think about what you want/need to change in your life in additional to ending binge eating.   

Remember that before you can beat binge eating, you will need to see yourself not bingeing clearly in your mind.  Start taking positive action today towards your new proposed reality and just see what starts to happen!

The first thing that you can do to put an end to binge eating is to go on a diet.  Not a deprive-yourself-of-foods diet, but a good mental cleanse.  A new “lifestyle” change to embark on.

People ask me what helped me overcome binge eating disorder and I have to tell them that it was my self-talk that really helped.  I use to talk down to myself all of the time.  I would beat myself up and make myself feel as guilty as I could if I binged.  Of course, all this is good for is to lower your self-esteem.  Nothing good comes out of being mean to yourself.  Simply put: You won’t get better and beat binge eating unless you come up with another plan.

The most important thing to do for yourself is to monitor your thoughts about yourself.  Write them down in a journal if you have to.  When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, quickly replace that thought with a positive one.  Instead of saying “I am so ugly and fat” replace it with “I am beautiful”.  If this is too hard for you to do right off the bat, try picking something about yourself that you like and use that instead.  “I have pretty eyes” works just fine.  For the next few days, really watch what you say about yourself and counter any bad thought with a good one.

Another thing that you can do is to break out of your comfort zone little by little.  You don’t have to do something drastic initially.  If walking down the street you make eye contact with someone, put a smile on your face.  You might have just brightened someone’s day (and it’ll make you feel good too).  Step outside of what you do on a daily basis and change it up some.  Instead of going home right after work, meet a friend or go to the gym.  Keep yourself active so that you don’t think about bingeing.  Do things that make you feel good about yourself!