‘Personal Development’

Obstacles.  We face them every day.  

Whether we want to find the motivation to go to the gym, to stop binge eating, to meet a new friend, or even to clean up the house.  Obstacles are everywhere.

Obviously, I want to focus more on binge eating obstacles, but also talk about everyday life ones too… Because, let’s face it, we won’t get moving to bigger and better things if we stay stagnant and let these little challenges get in our way. 

“I don’t have any extra money for fun.”
I will agree that fun times are a lot more fun when money is involved.  Nice dinners, fun trips, great backgrounds, but when there is no money to be spent, do the things that are free.  There are so many free things out there.  Check your local paper or online even for free concerts.  There are a ton of these offered in Houston.  Go to a park.  Go to a museum (not free, but very minimal cost).  Call your friends and go to your local pool.  Go window shopping.   

“I don’t deserve to have fun.”
I ask:  Why?
Next time you feel that you are not deserving of having a good time, whether it’s binge eating that’s got you down or what,  ask yourself why.  And, more importantly, try to answer your question with a justifiable reason.  (I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to come up with one!)  Remind yourself that everyone deserves to do something that will make them smile and forget about their situation (binge eating disorder) for a while.

“I don’t like the way I look/I don’t feel comfortable with myself in public.”
OK, this is understandable.  Binge eating has done its job of lowering your self-esteem…  But, don’t let your eating disorder stand in your way.  If you don’t feel good about yourself and don’t want to be in a public place, do something more private.  Do something at night.  Go to the movies - It’s dark in there! 

“I’m too ugly/fat/not smart enough (you feel in the blank here) to meet a new friend or be in a relationship.”
Who said?  
Binge eating disorder has gotten the best of you and made you believe that you aren’t good enough to step outside and meet people.  This isn’t true though.  Think of your good qualities and stop focusing on the physical side for a moment.  What about your personality?  What about how well you listen?  What about the good advice you give your friends already?  Focus on your good qualities and traits… because even though you have binge eating disorder, it does not mean that you should live a lonely life.  You do deserve more!

“It’s raining outside and that means that I can’t do my usual exercise.  Oh well.”

No, that just means that you need to change it up a little and do something indoors.  Or get wet.  I’m just sayin’.  Don’t let weather, tiredness, boredom, guilt, or anything else get in the way of exercise.   Think about how good you feel after working out and let that be your driving force.  Promise yourself to do just 10 minutes on a treadmill - Chances are you’ll go longer than only 10 minutes.

So my point is that we face obstacles all of the time.  They are prevalent in binge eating disorder, but also when it comes to important things like self-esteem, working out, and building new relationships.  You have to be sure that you do not succumb to binge eating disorder.  No more letting binge eating disorder control your every action and thoughts!  The next time an obstacle tries to get in your way - just go around it.

Most importantly, you deserve to be free from this eating disorder.  You should be in control of binge eating disorder, not the other way around.  Be strong, face the obstacles, and fight ‘em.  You can and will win!

One of the most important things you can first do when you realize that you have binge eating disorder is to figure out the root.  The “why”.  Figuring out this bit of information will be of great use to you as you try to recover from binge eating disorder.  It will help you stay away (when possible) from the circumstances or emotions that cause you to have a binge.  

So often figuring out why we turn to food isn’t the hard part.  In fact, for most of us, it’s pretty obvious for the most part.  We are stressed, we binge.  We feel overwhelmed, we binge eat.  We feel lonely, bored, anxious, mad, or sad, and we binge eat.  

OK so now that you know the “why”, what do you do to stop bingeing?

I’m going to give you a list of some things that helped myself and others.  Just remember to try each idea out with an open-mind because it might take a few times to figure out what will truly work to end your food addiction.  

As much as I wish that there was a simple solution to stop bingeing, there isn’t…  But don’t lose hope yet!  What worked for one person might not work for you, so try each idea out and see if it is helpful or not.

First:  Try dealing with your emotions.  
Write down how you feel - good or bad.  Capture every feeling and emotion that you have so that all tension is released with each stroke of your pen.  When we hide our emotions we are not being true to ourselves.  We are only pretending that whatever happened didn’t bother us, when in fact it did.  Pretending leads to binge eating, so don’t do that.  Let your true self (and emotions) come out!  You might be surprised at how uninterested in bingeing you become.

Second:  Try being accountable to someone or to a website.  
Accountability really helped me a lot.  When I binged only my husband (boyfriend at the time) and therapist knew of my secret.  Even though only 2 people knew, you better believe that I didn’t want to have to “report” back to them that I gave in and binged.  I wanted to feel good coming home from work and telling my boyfriend that I got through the day without succumbing to binge eating.  I wanted to go to my weekly appointment with my therapist and tell her about my successful week.  I really learned to try everything that I could to not binge solely because of accountability.

Third:  Try nurturing yourself in ways other than food.  
I used to celebrate anything with a huge binge.  It was my reward.  It was hard to learn how to reward myself without using food in the beginning.  Bingeing had definitely become a habit and, as you know, habits are hard to break.  I had to figure out other ways to reward myself, and it became fun.  I love massages, getting pedicures, buying clothes, accessories, picture frames, etc.  I love getting together with my friends or having a date night with my husband.  I love going to the movies.  I love reading a good book, or even a health magazine.  All of these things (and more) make me feel good about myself and give me an instant boost for my self-esteem.  Figure out what you like to do, reward yourself with that instead of food, and you’ll notice a new respect for yourself.  Obviously, when you respect yourself, you won’t be as likely to binge eat.

Fourth:  Try talking yourself out of bingeing.  
This might sound a bit silly, but it works.  When you make the “voice” that urges you to binge eat into something larger, like another person, it’s amazing what talking to it will do for you.  It becomes something that you will not let control you any longer.  It allows for you to say no (out loud) to the binge temptation.  After all, if a stranger told you that you were going to do something RIGHT now, what would you do?  You would probably laugh out loud and tell the person that you are not going to do that.  Make the urge just a little bit bigger than it is and you’ll find that it becomes easier to shut it off.

Sometimes it’s really hard to not be down on yourself when you binge.  Binge Eating Disorder takes away so much of the love that you should feel for yourself.  It makes you feel down in the dumps and can really take away your self-esteem.  

Whether you are just started bingeing, or have been binge eating for years, it’s really important to rekindle the love for yourself.  After all, we are all works in progress and we should never give up on the most important relationship, which is the one with ourself.

Here are 12 ways you can constantly improve the relationship and love for yourself:

1.  Create healthy boundaries.  
Learn to say no when you need to.  Put yourself and your feelings first when you can.

2.  Spend time alone and get to know yourself.
You just might surprise yourself with what you discover! 

3.  Practice positive self-talk.  
Don’t let negative feelings make you feel bad.  This can especially happen after a binge.  Guilty feelings set in and we become all about bringing ourselves down to the lowest level.  Surprise yourself once after bingeing and don’t do this.  Yes you binged, but no, it doesn’t have to ruin and take over the rest of your day.  Let it go with good self-talk.

4.  Do things that excite you and make you happy.  
When you are happy, you might be less likely to binge.

5.  Practice forgiveness.  
There’s no room for growth when you hold grudges…  And we all need growth to continue to love ourselves.

6.  Let your emotions flow.  
Whether it’s anger, happiness, or sadness, let yourself experience this emotion so you can get it off your chest and move on.  When we keep things bottled inside of us, a binge is more apt to happen.

7.  Honor yourself.  
Instead of being aware of your flaws, practice encouraging, supporting, and praising yourself.  It’s no fun to always be down on yourself!

8.  Give your body the recognition it deserves.  
Look at all the things you can do because of your body.  Think of all the things you’d be missing out on without it - Laughing, smiling, falling in love, playing, being passionate about something, and all of your emotions.  Basically we would all be like robots without our mind, body, and spirit…  and who wants to be robotic and emotionless?

9.  Know the truth about yourself and believe only that.  
Often times we create scenarios and lies about ourselves that just aren’t true.  Be aware of the times you do this and only let yourself believe the truth.  Remember, the truth will always set you free!

10.  Speak up for yourself.  
Constructive criticism is always good, but when it becomes more hurtful and hateful, take a stand.  You don’t deserve that and you need to let the person know otherwise.  Think of how empowering it would feel to give yourself the respect you deserve.

11.  Stop trying to achieve perfection.  
It’s great to always want to be better at something, but being perfect is overrated.  It will cause you to never be happy with yourself because it will look like you are constantly failing.  No one is perfect and no one will ever be able to achieve the “perfect” status.  Ever.  There is always room for growth and learning more.  Never be too close-minded that you forget this.

12.  Just be yourself.  
We are all different.  Some of us have certain strengths where others might not be as strong…  And this is okay.  It’s what makes you different and unique from others.  Let the person you really are shine through and never hold back.  It’s just not worth living a life that isn’t you!

Whether you want to stop binge eating, stop smoking, lose weight, etc, there is one thing that you will find that is common between everything and that is…

Your mindset. 

Your mindset plays the most vital role because it starts to change your thinking, it allows you to see your life as it would be if you didn’t binge eat.

When I was still binge eating, working on my mindset was the best thing that I did for myself.  I knew that if my mindset stayed the same way I would continue to binge eat.  It’s such a no brainer really.  The way I thought for so long was having me reach for binge food to ease any situation instead of focusing on fixing the circumstance.  Something had to change…

Changing the way we think is never an easy task, but it’s the best thing that we can do when we need to change something important in our lives. 

For me, binge eating allowed me to have a low self-esteem and not love myself.  It was so detrimental in my life.  I started keeping a journal so that my negative feelings would be written down somewhere.  While it’s great to write in your journal about how you want your life to be when you aren’t binge eating, it’s also really, really important to capture your reality too.  It’s such a freeing feeling and those feelings need to come out somehow.

Start keeping a journal today about your day-to-day life and write down everything good and bad in it.  Use it as an escape instead of bingeing.  I noticed right away about how good I felt after writing - Try it out and see how it works for you!

This past weekend Rob and I went out to dinner to the most fabulous Mexican restaurant.  There was a wait, so we went to the bar and had a drink until a table was ready for us.  While sitting at the bar, I noticed some looks my way and really didn’t think anything of it. 

Then I went to the bathroom and noticed more looks.  Naturally I became a little self-conscious and checked the mirror in the bathroom to see if I had something weird on my face.  I didn’t.  Walking back to the bar area generated more looks, from girls and guys.  It made me feel extremely weird because I didn’t know why that attention was coming my way. 

Regardless of weighing almost 55lbs lighter than I did while binge eating - I still felt the same feelings when people looked at me.  One or two stares is nothing, but when you feel like you are being watched every time you make a move…  Well, you just start to wonder what is going on.

Here’s what I came up with (and it’s so obvious!):  Insecurities are something we all have to constantly work on because it is so easy to go back to how we used to feel.  Sure I weighed 138lbs that night and I felt good.  I feel good in my “new skin” and am very happy/proud of myself… 

But, why do those feelings start to fade back to how I felt when I was 190lbs? 

I have a much healthier self-esteem.  I feed good about myself.  I am confident.  I do not do insecure things.  I smile a lot more at people because I am okay with who I am and how I look.

Well, I made a decision that night.  When I walked back out of the bathroom (for the 2nd time), I held my head up high, made eye contact with anyone looking my way, and I smiled at them.  I made the decision to think that they were looking at me because either I was in their direction or for a positive reason.  Nothing negative.

I always thought that everything would improve drastically and all of my insecurities would go away when I stopped binge eating and lost the extra weight.  I can say that most insecurities are gone and my life has improved greatly, but there are still those times when I have to remind myself that I am not the person I used to be. 

I have come so far from binge eating disorder and I have so many qualities to be proud of.  When I remind myself of this, I put a smile on my face and don’t think twice about any stares in my direction!

The first thing that you can do to put an end to binge eating is to go on a diet.  Not a deprive-yourself-of-foods diet, but a good mental cleanse.  A new “lifestyle” change to embark on.

People ask me what helped me overcome binge eating disorder and I have to tell them that it was my self-talk that really helped.  I use to talk down to myself all of the time.  I would beat myself up and make myself feel as guilty as I could if I binged.  Of course, all this is good for is to lower your self-esteem.  Nothing good comes out of being mean to yourself.  Simply put: You won’t get better and beat binge eating unless you come up with another plan.

The most important thing to do for yourself is to monitor your thoughts about yourself.  Write them down in a journal if you have to.  When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, quickly replace that thought with a positive one.  Instead of saying “I am so ugly and fat” replace it with “I am beautiful”.  If this is too hard for you to do right off the bat, try picking something about yourself that you like and use that instead.  “I have pretty eyes” works just fine.  For the next few days, really watch what you say about yourself and counter any bad thought with a good one.

Another thing that you can do is to break out of your comfort zone little by little.  You don’t have to do something drastic initially.  If walking down the street you make eye contact with someone, put a smile on your face.  You might have just brightened someone’s day (and it’ll make you feel good too).  Step outside of what you do on a daily basis and change it up some.  Instead of going home right after work, meet a friend or go to the gym.  Keep yourself active so that you don’t think about bingeing.  Do things that make you feel good about yourself!

Binge eating disorder can really make us feel totally stressed out and overwhelmed, can’t it?

Looking at the times that you binge, do you ever find that the days you are more likely to binge are the days that you feel overwhelmed, stressed out, or strive to have a perfect day?

I remember putting insurmountable pressure on myself in the past to achieve perfection, and when I failed (because who is perfect?) I would binge.  Food would comfort me before I would realize that I was just setting myself up for failure time and time again.

I think that the feelings of being overwhelmed or stressed out are triggers that lead to a binge.  It’s the same cycle over and over: You feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to handle it so you turn to food because you feel like you will regain control of the situation and the feelings that you lost.  This happened to me so often.  I would find solace with any kind of fast food.

Think about this:  What would happen to your life if you could abolish your need for perfection and learn to turn the feelings of stress into peaceful situations?  Instead of always looking at the imperfections of life, learn to make peace and allow them into your life. 

When you focus on imperfections, you are placed further away achieving any inner peace.  Instead of fixating yourself on the fact that you binge and are overweight, why not remind yourself that, while you wish to change, you accept how your body is right at this very moment.  Learn to make peace with all of your imperfections.  What are the good things about yourself that you love?

Focus on all of your good qualities and work on changing the bad ones.  Start loving yourself no matter what your size is.  You won’t be able to move forward with weight loss and ending binge eating unless you can acknowledge your body (and all of the flaws that come with it) in the present time.

It is proven that affirmations help to reprogram one’s mind. When one repeats an affirmation over and over, the subconscious picks up on it as the present reality. Does this mean that people have the ability to completely turn around their life as they know it? In one word: Yes.

You can co-create your world to your own specifications. You want a better relationship? Start telling yourself that you deserve it. Once you have heard this for so long, your mind will not settle for anything else. You want a better job? Learn to say affirmations about your passions and watch how many doors open in your direction.

Now, what if you want to end your emotional eating habit? Although this may sound tricky, there is nothing tricky about it. Truth is, when you boldly affirm your thoughts to yourself and to the Universe, you will get what you want in time. For example, you can say “My body is a healthy temple.” As with any subject that you affirm, your mind is changing and will not accept anything less. You will start to regard your body as sacred and will not want to damage it in any way. A newfound respect will start to flourish within you. You will start to think twice about what food you fill your body with. Before eating, you will wonder what nourishment will enter your body from eating that food.

As all binge eaters know, iemotional eating is not about being hungry and wanting food. No, you eat because you are numbing your feelings toward a particular subject. What if you start to affirm that you are capable of handling those difficult situations that cause you to binge? Your mind might just start to believe what you are saying and this will make the emotional eating slow down. Of course, it won’t get rid of emotional eating overnight, but it will cause you to become more aware of what you say and what you think. It will cause you to really think about the type of food you are feeding your soul.

When your thoughts on emotional eating and on yourself start to improve, your life with follow in the same direction. The new love and respect that you have for your body will guide you away from any emotional eating. You will learn to supplement your negative feelings with positive ones. Ultimately, this is the beginning of your end to changing your food habits and getting rid of emotional eating. Start believing in yourself and only wanting the best for yourself and watch how things will start to shift in your life. Pretty soon emotional eating will be a thing of the past!

If you had the ability to design your life the exact way that you wanted to, would you? If you could create every detail of your life, how would that be? What if I told you that you have this incredible power within you? What if I told you that you could co-create your life to your exact specifications? Would you want to overcome binge eating?

Whether you realize it or not, your subconscious mind picks up on all of your positive or negative statements that you say or think about yourself. Think of your subconscious as a sponge. It soaks up tons and tons of information, some of which you are not even aware of. Everything that you come into contact with in your daily life gets absorbed into your subconscious and will stay there forever, as you are not able to filter through what gets to your subconscious mind.

You may think questions to yourself such as, “Why am I so fat?” and your subconscious focuses on the fat part. It doesn’t hear the rest of the statement. It focuses on fat and that is what becomes programmed into your mind. Subconsciously you will keep feeding that part of your mind with the word “fat” being the focus and it will be hard to overcome binge eating.

This is why it is so important that when people use affirmations to overcome binge eating disorder they are careful of what they say and think. By filling your subconscious mind with negative statements about yourself, you will get what you don’t want, even though that is not your intention. The subconscious mind accepts any and all information because it does not know any better. This is also why affirmations work so well: Your subconscious cannot distinguish what is real and what is not real. You must use this to your advantage and when you find yourself thinking a negative thought, it is imperative that you counteract that statement with a positive one immediately.

The main purpose of reprogramming your subconscious mind with affirmations is so you can change your current reality. What is it that you want in your life? What do you wish to attract in your life? How do you see your future in terms of binge eating? How bad do you want to overcome binge eating? Since your subconscious mind makes up about 90% of your whole mind, can you imagine what can happen to your life by incorporating affirmations daily? Your dreams can start to become your reality. Binge Eating can start to become a thing of your past.

Affirmations can help with all areas of your life including: your fears, anxiety, personal development, and improvement with yourself. By adding affirmations to your life, your self-esteem and confidence will grow more than you can ever imagine… Or can you?

Right now you may be at the lowest point ever because you binge. You are not happy in your life and wish to change. You want a happy ending, but are unsure of how to get there. Even though there are obstacles in overcoming binge eating disorder, don’t let that discourage you. Don’t focus on how long it may take. Take each day and live for that day. Focus on not bingeing that day and start positive affirmations. Remember that you will overcome binge eating with the help of changing your subconscious. Notice what will happen to your life and welcome the new you with open arms!