Visiting the Northeast & Binge Eating
If you noticed that I haven’t blogged in a few days, it’s because I left for Pennsylvania bright and early Thursday morning. My uncle passed away on Wednesday and I booked a flight out that night. It was 9pm and my flight was set to leave at 7am the next morning.
Aside from being in PA for my uncle’s funeral, it was nice to see my family. I even got to meet some 2nd and 3rd cousins, which was cool too. The funeral was set for Saturday so we hung out with family on Thursday and Friday. Saturday was the worst though.
My uncle has 2 kids, ages 15 and 17 years old. Just seeing them at the funeral was heartbreaking. No one should have to know what it’s like to lose a parent when they are so young. It’s just not right.
It also made me feel extremely blessed that I still have my parents around.
I’ve been to PA many times, and I also lived in New Hampshire briefly. I must say that it’s a whole different place up there. My mom and I decided to count the pizzeria’s, Dunkin Donuts, and diners while we were in the car. Not even kidding… There had to be one of those 3 on every street corner. Everywhere we looked we saw pizza and diners. I remembered why I gained so much weight when I lived in New Hampshire. So much “convenient” food was accessible and that’s what I chose to eat.
Even though I wasn’t binge eating while I lived in NH, I still gained weight. Looking back, I think we must have ordered pizza at least 2 times a week. And it wasn’t just pizza… We would get a soft drink, cheese sticks, ranch for dipping our pizza in, and a big salad. Sometimes even a dessert. All for one meal.
I’m totally not judging the Northeast. Being up there this past weekend just reminded me of when I lived there and how poorly I ate. Of course, it’s a choice and I made the choice to eat junk all of the time. It seemed comforting when it was cold outside. Well, who am I kidding, it was comforting all of the time - cold, hot, it really didn’t matter.
Some of you might be where I was when I lived there - You aren’t binge eating anymore, but you can’t seem to gain control of your eating. You find that you are still gaining weight, which doesn’t help you feel good about yourself. You feel stuck and confused. Why are you gaining weight and eating poorly, even though you have beat binge eating disorder? I know it’s a hard place to be, but just remember that you have conquered binge eating disorder and now you have to conquer the weight that you have gained.
I used to think that once I ended my struggle with binge eating that my added weight would just fall off. So not the case. It’s just another battle for you to overcome, and you can overcome it. It just takes some time, just like ending binge eating did.
Kristin,
I’m sorry to hear about your uncle. It is always difficult to deal with the death of someone close to us. I’m sure I would have used the opportunity as an excuse to binge.
I agree that food temptations are everywhere. It is a bingers nightmare. Driving down the street, watching TV, listening to the radio, reading magazines/newspapers…we are surrounded by food. I know I need to make the choice to eat healthier but it is soooo hard.
The unhealthy alternative is much more appealing.
Thanks for your kind words about my uncle. I really appreciate it!
The reasons you mentioned and the fact that we need food for nourishment on a daily basis are the exact reasons why this disorder is so hard to beat. Food is everywhere we look and it is hard to just say no to it.