My Old Binge Eating Self in Someone Else (Possibly)
This past weekend Rob and I decided to get out for a fun night. We went to a place similar to Dave and Buster’s or Jillian’s. We bowled, played laser tag (surprisingly I liked it!), and play video games. It was not the “typical” night, but I have to admit that it was a blast. Sure, there were many kids there - gotta love summer time, but we still had a great time!
While bowling I made friends with a girl that was bowling on the next lane over. She reminded me of one of my old friends, plus she looked to be close to my age. Rob and I hung out with her and her husband for the rest of the night and then we all stopped at Denny’s for some late-night snacking.
While we were at Denny’s, I noticed that she reminded me of myself when I used to binge. (I have absolutely no idea if she has binge eating disorder, but I saw a lot of similarities of my old self in her.) See, when I was binge eating I didn’t want to give my “secret” away to anyone. It was the most private thing in my life and I was determined to keep it that way.
I could pretend all day and night that I ate normal meals and that they were healthy. I could pretend that I was clueless as to how I was gaining so much weight.
But, we all know the truth with that: It’s simply a lie to keep our secret in tact and to not give away our “true” self. It’s just a big ole lie and it really doesn’t do us any good pretending that we are something that we are not.
So, back to Denny’s. I wanted to reach out so badly to this new friend, but I didn’t want to just assume that she might have issues with binge eating. Yes, she was overweight, but I’m no dummy. I know that people who binge eat can be overweight (I was one!), but I also know that people can exercise a hell of a lot to keep the weight off.
When I think about it, there really aren’t any warning signs that give someone with binge eating disorder away. I think that a lot of my friends and family were 100% totally surprised when I told them that I binged. However, I just felt like this girl reminded me so much of how I used to be, and that is why I wanted to reach out. Strangely enough, her and her husband never asked what Rob and I did for work (which would have been a perfect way to lead into the topic…), so it would have been odd for me to just talk to her about it.
While we were eating, she told me that she eats 5 -6 small meals a day, all healthy. Hmm… that sounded like me in the past too. While everything could have been just a coincidence, I still wonder. Of course people can be overweight for so many reasons AND perhaps she truly does eat 6 small healthy meals a day, but it sure does make me wonder!