Binge Eating, Binge Eating, and More Binge Eating
The words binge eating are so scary to think about. Those words remind us of what it is like to be stuck in this ever-going cycle. They remind us how desparately we want our lives back. The lives when we were in control, not food.
Many times I wondered to myself (and to my therapist) why I had Binge Eating Disorder. Why such a physical noticing disorder? Why not alcohol? Drugs? At least with those two, people don’t see too many physical signs (unless you are out with them, I suppose). (Of course, I do not wish the other addictions on myself, or anyone.)
Binge Eating Disorder made me gain weight. My weight was on display for my family, friends, and even strangers to notice. I definitely couldn’t hide the fact that I binged - It was bulging out of my jeans and shirt - There was extra weight everywhere!
Unlike drugs and alcohol, I couldn’t just dismiss food from my life; we all need food to survive. Food is a necessity for our bodies, yet an awful companion for a binge eater. It really feels like there is just no escape to binge eating and that I just should have accepted that I was going to be a binge eater for the rest of my life.
Well, I obviously couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to binge eat, like you don’t want to. Of course, I felt like I got stuck with dealing with one of the hardest things to overcome in my entire life… but I guess that just makes me a stronger person than I ever thought.
What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, right??